How I envy others they could give love a chance

How I envy others who are so brave to survive the pain

Truth is that, I am a coward

I’m a coward because the fear grows everyday

I’m a coward because failure is all I’ve ever known

I hate people who changes their minds easily, because I, myself, has always been undecided

I hate myself for being afraid

I hate myself for being too careful

I hate myself for not taking the risks

Truth is that, I want that too

I want to have that someone who will hold my hand and tell me that everything’s going to be okay

I want to be with someone who will make me realize that there’s nothing to be afraid

I want to go on dates, I want to pack on long vacations

I want to have someone who will take away my insecurities

I want someone who will not stop my loudness, but also won’t force me to talk when all I want is silence

I want to have someone who will propose to me someday with the sincerest heart

I want to get married when the time comes

I’ve always dreamed of preparing for my wedding

I want to have someone waiting for me in the altar wearing a tux

And I, am wearing the most beautiful gown with the brightest smile on my face

I want to spend the rest of my life with someone who will take care of me, and in return I’ll do the same to him

I want to have children and kiss and hug them everyday

I’ll be the best wife

I’ll be the most amazing mom…

But I am a coward

The pain goes away, yet the fears stay

I fear that true love will not come to me

I fear that everything is temporary

 I fear that all expectations will never be reality

I fear that the love I so wanted the most will be the death of me

I know,

I’m a coward

I know…


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